You pretty much know from the beginning what follows. This guy is on a death race. His day starts with meaningless sex, but a primary human function. He tries to drown himself in a river. No success. Drowning is painful and life instincts are strong even in those who don't feel like living anymore.
This is the day of his last attempt: either to live, or to die. He doesn't get his hopes high, he is scared of what he has to face, but he's willing to do it. Has to. He visits his best friend and his family. Apologizes. For the past. For the future. They catch up on others: past friends, past girlfriend. Maybe they should reconnect. Girl loved him. He's skeptic. His smile is bitter. Confesses lack of trust. Confesses lack of passion. Confesses his wish to die. Not only his wish but his actual plan. Friend doesn't know what to say. Compassion and encouraging words are not really the key. Quotes from books neither, as a proof that wisdom and true lessons on how to live cannot be found in written / printed pages. Our guy learns that his friend's happiness is just an illusion. With a job, family and kids his friend feels as trapped and unsatisfied as he does. Just that he somehow got used to it. Got used to live like that. Building your own family doesn't seem like the answer anymore. No reason for envy, all words spoken, they part.
Next try is the job. A job he feels not suited for but all others think he'll do great. And the start of the interview is promising. He has input. Ideas. His brain works. Past talent is appreciated. But what about the gaps? How do you explain to someone that you screwed up? That you somehow took the wrong turn and now you're trying to get back. And you need some help. Or some support. The man in front of him demands honesty and full disclosure, but as usually he cannot deal with the truth. The guy realizes the job will not be his salvation. Not now, not ever. He leaves. Another door closes behind him, for good.
Here for the first time he takes his best friend's advice and calls his girlfriend, interacting with her answering machine.
The door of his sister is already closed and won't even open. The quickest result and probably the hardest shock. He cannot connect or relate to his own kin. His parents fled the country, enjoying their remaining years, his sister won't get in touch. She knows him. Doesn't trust him. Expects him to screw up again. She just sends him the keys of his last act.
The coffee-shop scene is probably one of the best. Perfect spot for observing the others without interfering. He gets to see if they are really alike. Talking about their issues, more or less meaningful. Complaining. Pretending. Dreaming. Wishing. Wasting time. People seem to be pretty much the same, and that is soothing. He decides to give himself a break, enjoy for a while simple pleasures of life: listening to children rehearsing classical music for a concert, going to a park full of people, lying on the grass, watching the sky, doing nothing, just remembering his parents. How they raised and educated him, how they screwed him up. So maybe salvation could come from embracing life and reality as it is. From this day dream, he wakes up alone.
The party is the starting point of his downfall. Old faces that remind him of the old self. People who celebrate the birthday of a girl whose birthday was a day later. Friends that don't really know each other enough to remember one simple date. Relationships long enough to last, but unaccomplished. It's all down the drain and this guy finds nothing to hang on to. Nothing! Old ways seem better so he starts drinking. To forget. To get numb. A girl with a beautiful smile sends him a direct message that she's available. Tells him where to find her later. Why not? Maybe now he will be able to feel something. Little pleasures of life.
Girlfriend still doesn't answer.
He pretty much expects nothing, so he must be prepared. Goes on with the plan. Buys the stuff that will provide him with a last, heart-blowing moment of happiness. That will bring relief with no pain. Then he goes to the bar. Finds the girl. Goes to a rave party. Loses himself in the crowd. Makes up with a total stranger. Still feeling nothing. Talking and kissing with the girl. Foreseeing her future: nights of meaningless sex and hook ups, many nights, like this one, that she won't even remember later. Just life as it is. "Having fun". Nothing of real importance. Rides a bike with the girl. Enjoys the cold breeze. Enjoys revealing small secrets of the town. Watches her swim naked while the sun rises. And as he watches it, enjoying the caresses of warm light, he realizes he is out of options. That his detachment is now complete. He needs to get home for the last time.
House is empty. All things packed. A sign that everyone is moving on. With or without him. Calls his girlfriend for the third time. This time to tell her the truth: it's good bye. And he's sorry. His actions caused and will cause everyone a lot of pain. To him as well, but he's taking a ticket out. The piano is just a memory and playing it is probably a recollection of his childhood when all seemed possible in that big house. Then the preparations. Relevant is the pooling of the curtains. Shading the room. Keeping the outside world outside. Isolating the exterior for the interior is already isolated. With the image also the sound disappears. The needle goes in. The guy goes down.
As life pours out of him we follow his steps back through that day. The pool over which the sun was rising is empty. The water is still. No smiley girls swims in it. The club is closed. The party house is asleep. The restaurant is deserted. So are the streets of Oslo. So is the forest or the room where he woke up in the morning.
The story is two times circular. It starts and ends with his suicide attempts. It starts and ends in the same place, with the same view. With or without him, the world goes on, remaining the same...
This is the day of his last attempt: either to live, or to die. He doesn't get his hopes high, he is scared of what he has to face, but he's willing to do it. Has to. He visits his best friend and his family. Apologizes. For the past. For the future. They catch up on others: past friends, past girlfriend. Maybe they should reconnect. Girl loved him. He's skeptic. His smile is bitter. Confesses lack of trust. Confesses lack of passion. Confesses his wish to die. Not only his wish but his actual plan. Friend doesn't know what to say. Compassion and encouraging words are not really the key. Quotes from books neither, as a proof that wisdom and true lessons on how to live cannot be found in written / printed pages. Our guy learns that his friend's happiness is just an illusion. With a job, family and kids his friend feels as trapped and unsatisfied as he does. Just that he somehow got used to it. Got used to live like that. Building your own family doesn't seem like the answer anymore. No reason for envy, all words spoken, they part.
Next try is the job. A job he feels not suited for but all others think he'll do great. And the start of the interview is promising. He has input. Ideas. His brain works. Past talent is appreciated. But what about the gaps? How do you explain to someone that you screwed up? That you somehow took the wrong turn and now you're trying to get back. And you need some help. Or some support. The man in front of him demands honesty and full disclosure, but as usually he cannot deal with the truth. The guy realizes the job will not be his salvation. Not now, not ever. He leaves. Another door closes behind him, for good.
Here for the first time he takes his best friend's advice and calls his girlfriend, interacting with her answering machine.
The door of his sister is already closed and won't even open. The quickest result and probably the hardest shock. He cannot connect or relate to his own kin. His parents fled the country, enjoying their remaining years, his sister won't get in touch. She knows him. Doesn't trust him. Expects him to screw up again. She just sends him the keys of his last act.
The coffee-shop scene is probably one of the best. Perfect spot for observing the others without interfering. He gets to see if they are really alike. Talking about their issues, more or less meaningful. Complaining. Pretending. Dreaming. Wishing. Wasting time. People seem to be pretty much the same, and that is soothing. He decides to give himself a break, enjoy for a while simple pleasures of life: listening to children rehearsing classical music for a concert, going to a park full of people, lying on the grass, watching the sky, doing nothing, just remembering his parents. How they raised and educated him, how they screwed him up. So maybe salvation could come from embracing life and reality as it is. From this day dream, he wakes up alone.
The party is the starting point of his downfall. Old faces that remind him of the old self. People who celebrate the birthday of a girl whose birthday was a day later. Friends that don't really know each other enough to remember one simple date. Relationships long enough to last, but unaccomplished. It's all down the drain and this guy finds nothing to hang on to. Nothing! Old ways seem better so he starts drinking. To forget. To get numb. A girl with a beautiful smile sends him a direct message that she's available. Tells him where to find her later. Why not? Maybe now he will be able to feel something. Little pleasures of life.
Girlfriend still doesn't answer.
He pretty much expects nothing, so he must be prepared. Goes on with the plan. Buys the stuff that will provide him with a last, heart-blowing moment of happiness. That will bring relief with no pain. Then he goes to the bar. Finds the girl. Goes to a rave party. Loses himself in the crowd. Makes up with a total stranger. Still feeling nothing. Talking and kissing with the girl. Foreseeing her future: nights of meaningless sex and hook ups, many nights, like this one, that she won't even remember later. Just life as it is. "Having fun". Nothing of real importance. Rides a bike with the girl. Enjoys the cold breeze. Enjoys revealing small secrets of the town. Watches her swim naked while the sun rises. And as he watches it, enjoying the caresses of warm light, he realizes he is out of options. That his detachment is now complete. He needs to get home for the last time.
House is empty. All things packed. A sign that everyone is moving on. With or without him. Calls his girlfriend for the third time. This time to tell her the truth: it's good bye. And he's sorry. His actions caused and will cause everyone a lot of pain. To him as well, but he's taking a ticket out. The piano is just a memory and playing it is probably a recollection of his childhood when all seemed possible in that big house. Then the preparations. Relevant is the pooling of the curtains. Shading the room. Keeping the outside world outside. Isolating the exterior for the interior is already isolated. With the image also the sound disappears. The needle goes in. The guy goes down.
As life pours out of him we follow his steps back through that day. The pool over which the sun was rising is empty. The water is still. No smiley girls swims in it. The club is closed. The party house is asleep. The restaurant is deserted. So are the streets of Oslo. So is the forest or the room where he woke up in the morning.
The story is two times circular. It starts and ends with his suicide attempts. It starts and ends in the same place, with the same view. With or without him, the world goes on, remaining the same...
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